Let’s Pretend You’re Black: Ty’Qwonne Blacksten (Part 8)

hospital

You are currently unconscious at St. Augustine’s Medical Center of Troose. The doctors have placed you in a medically induced coma from all of the head trauma you’ve sustained. You have a broken jaw, broken nose, cracked eye socket and ruptured spleen. Your mother has just arrived at the hospital to receive the news.  She proceeds to have a conversation with  your grandmother and uncle.

Warning: Strong use of inappropriate and foul language in the following dialogue.

 

Mom:”It was all my fault, I should’ve known better than to let him go over that way.”(sobbing uncontrollably)

Grandma: (inconsolable)

Uncle Rocco: “Tammy (your mom), Don’t blame yourself sis, It’s okay. I felt like it was more of my fault, than anybody else. I was just with him last weekend. He is gonna be fine Tammy. Trust in Jesus, Sis.”

Granny: “Yes, Rocco, I serve a powerful God, in Jesus name! please watch over my grand baby”(sobbing)

Mom: “I just can’t believe I let this happen.”

Uncle Rocco: “Listen, Im gonna call Bishop Henry Dixen, to come down and say a prayer for y’all. I promise you T.Q, is in God’s hands and he will be fine.

—-

Skooby walks in visibly perturbed by the recent news. He storms in the hospital greeting everyone and asking for the room number of Ty’Qwonne. Rocco looks at Skooby scornfully as he walks away.

 

Uncle Rocco: “Yo, Skooby, lemme holla at you real quick”

Skooby waves Uncle Rocco off in a flippant manner. Disregards Rocco entirely and walks toward the room.

 

Scooby walks in the room and sees you bandaged up and hooked up to the machines. Tears begin to weld up in his eyes, as he realizes that you are in bad shape.

 

Skooby: “Fuck…..who in the hell did this to you!..Why the hell you ain’t text me to let me know where you was at?”

Skooby: (tears dropping from his face)

Skooby: “You my lil cuzzin, I am always gonna look out for you. No matter what. You can’t pass away on me, TQ.”

Skooby: (phone vibrates and rings)

Skooby: “Wattup nigga, I’m at the hospital, I gotta hit you back. Somebody got T.Q.! On the dead homies, I need to know who did this.”

Voice on the other end of the phone tells Skooby that the Mezza’s had youtubed the whole incident and placed it online. The Mezza’s have a YouTube channel that shows all of their parties and intimidation tactics.

Skooby: “Say what!!, On Stone Gang Blood?!, tweet me the link my nigga! It’s on. Somebody gotta feel it tonight. On Bloods!!”

 

Storms out of hospital and bumps into Uncle Rocco. Rocco grabs Skooby.

Skooby: “Get cho fuckin hands off me, whats wrong wit you!”

Rocco: “Listen,  Daniel (Skooby’s real name),  I already know what you are thinking, you wanna retaliate. But think before you act.”

Skooby: “Nah, fuck all that! I’ma gangsta, Ain’t no peace talks going on here. You saw what they did to my lil cousin.”

Rocco: “Listen, Daniel, Nothing good is gonna come out of this. You already know. Think about what your gonna do. It’s a constant cycle of violence that will never be resolved. When will it stop. You are killing your own people.”

Skooby:”My people?, them niggas ain’t never gon’ be my people’s. This shit is deeper than skin color. People done lost fathers and kids behind this gang banging shit. I done lost homeboys to the penitentiary and cemetery behind this shit. My dead homies ain’t never coming back. This is all I know. This is my set. That is my race, fuck all that other shit. Save that peace talk for Farrakhan, Im active.”

Skooby storms out of hospital.

Rocco: “If you wanna ruin your life go ahead!!”(screaming aloud at Skooby)

hood-tours-screengrab-house-L

At the 45 Ballstone hood house, the gang members are awaiting the retaliation plan.

Big Trick- (gang leader): Okay, Stonez, Even though TQ ain’t from da hood, something gotta be done. They tryin to make the hood look soft. So, load the ratchets (guns) up and listen to the lil homie Skooby.

Scooby: “Okay, this is what we gon’ do. I want FatTroy to park over here…..”(showing google map location)

 

Part 9 coming soon.

 

 

Let’s pretend you’re black: Ty’Qwonne Blacksten (Part 5)

Black women on #blacklivesmatter

It’s Saturday morning and the men are busy watching college football. Most of the women are preparing to go to church in the morning by heading to the hair salon. There are 3 hair salons in the city of Troose, but Nadine’s hair salon is the most popular. Nadine and her staff handle most of the African-American community. Councilwomen, Bus Drivers, Restaurant Workers, and Postal Workers all go to Nadine’s to spend half of the day. Here is the dialogue that goes on in Nadine’s:

TV: (News Broadcaster) “Officer slammed child and has been placed on unpaid leave until further notice.”

Red mohawk:”You see that Nadine….That officer need his ass whooped, slammin’ a lil ass girl like that. These officers is losin they rabid ass mind!”

(Salon groaning in unison)

Nadine:”Yep, but the backstory say that she was a lil badass. Being hella defiant, screaming at the officer and teacher. She was doin 4 much. Im jus sayin!”

Short brown hair:”So what!, that still don’t make it right. He wouldn’t slam no White girl like that. If Becky was actin out, she wouldn’t even get pepper sprayed. I don’t know why we keep letting these White cops get away with this nonsense gurl!”

Salon Worker Jada:”I agree, I also think that our Black men don’t treat us any better”

(Salon agreeing in accord)

Nadine:” We all being portrayed as bitches and hoes, nothing more than a sex tool to our men. A Black woman is known as a baby momma, but what do they call Sarah Palin daughter?”

(clapping and laughing)

Long Haired woman:” Tell me about it, then you got these White women taking our men. Them damn,(snapping her fingers) whats they name?..Kardashians are taking every rich Black man they see.”

Jada:” Walking around on television with fake asses, fake lips, and sun tans, these hoes wanna be Black so fuckin bad. We can’t even have our big asses anymore. White women wanna take that!” (cackling in laughter)

Nadine:”Y’all know Stretch got out!”

Jada:”That’s random, what made you think of that?”

Nadine:”Kardashian and Lamar Odom, Stretch look just like Lamar Odom”

Red Mohawk:”Yeah he do, He look good too. I’ll take care of his ass. Jail time did him good. Shiit!”(laughing)

Senior Citizen Pearline:”We losin too many of our sons and fathers to jail and gun violence. I have lost a Grandson and a Son behind this madness.”

Nadine:”Our men are passing away and going to jail, and we are left with the responsibility. When we need help or government assistance, we are shamed. We get stamped as welfare queens, cause we swipe an EBT card for food. When a White woman get stuck with responsibility, she divorces, or sues!”

Jada:”Maybe we need to get married, instead of having these no good, jailbird nigga babies, Hey, I’m just Sayin!!! It takes two.”

Nadine:”Even if we get married, what we gonna sue them for? Some Retro Jordan shoes. Hell. they barely wanna pay child support! What the hell I’m gonna sue for? A blunt!”

(salon roaring in laughter)

Senior Citizen Pearline:”We need to talk about whats really killing US!!! Violence and police brutality are killing our Black men, but you know what is killing us?”

Red Mohawk:”What?..broke ass baby daddies?”

(Salon laughs)

Pearline:”Heart disease, Diabetes, Breast Cancer, High Blood Pressure! These are the things killing us. When I was young like ya’ll, I took my health for granted. I cooked soul food and fried foods with a heavy hand of salt and butter. I refused to exercise. I didn’t wanna change my eating habits. I went through KFC drive-thru’s to compensate working two jobs to feed my children, and guess what happened. I had a stroke and renal failure in my 50’s. I go to kidney dialysis 3 times a week. I have to take 20 pills and vitamins a day, just to get through.”

(Salon quiet and somber)

Long Haired Woman:”I feel you Mrs. Pearline, I just can’t mess up my weave. I paid good money for my Brazilian hair. No disrespect, but I don’t do pack hair. The sweat would damage my hair.”

(salon humming and laughing)

Pearline:”So you just chose hair over heart disease?  If you don’t take care of your health, hair will be the last thing you need to worry about..Trust me on that, Sweetie”

Part 6 coming soon.

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