
Five black people walk into a bar. I will give them a name and a brief description. Its Friday afternoon after work, and election day is coming up. They all have different opinions, some things they agree on, but on more important issues they differ. Story is completely fictitious.

Jeff, a 33 year old White Bartender, who doesn’t wish to be aligned with any political party. He identifies as an independent, but rarely votes at all.

Rashad, a 45 year old Black man, who is pro-black and votes democrat 90 percent of the time. He identifies as Democrat, sternly against Trump, loves Barack Obama, and has a tattoo of the hashtag black lives matter.

Leena: a 40 year old black woman, who is a Black feminist, votes democrat 100 percent of the time, loves Roxane Gay, LGBTQ social justice warrior, black lives matter activist and hates alpha males.

Darnell: a 54 year old black man, who identifies himself as a republican, votes Republican 100 percent of the time, loves Trump, disagrees with #blacklivesmatter, thinks when Trump says Make America Great Again, he is speaking about being a Christian nation.

Joanne: a 32 year old bi-racial black woman, who identifies herself as independent, considers herself to be undecided on who to vote for. She voted for Obama last election, and has mixed feelings on where the country is headed.

Malachi: a 35 year old black man, doesn’t vote at all, only votes when propositions are introduced, but doesn’t trust in the 2 party system. He is what many black people would label as “conscious” or ‘hotep’, but doesn’t consider himself anything but for black people.
Disclaimer: PICTURES ARE NOT MINE. STORY IS FICTIONAL. FOR EDUCATIONAL USE ONLY
Jeff: “So Rashad, What can I get for you tonight?”
Rashad:”Henny on the rocks”
**making drink**
**Leena pulls up and grabs a seat. Takes coat off and gestures to Jeff.**
Jeff: “Hey there, what can I get for you?”
Leena:”Ketel One with O.J.”
**makes drink**
Rashad: “Jeff, I know this is a personal question, but what the hell, who are you voting for this election?”
Jeff: (titter) “You know’ I usually don’t talk politics on the job, I’m neutral. I won’t answer political questions on the job, but I don’t mind asking them. Who are you voting for?”
Rashad:”I’m with her.”
Jeff: “Hillary? Why?”
Rashad: “She ain’t Trump!”(in a boisterous, and unapologetic tone)
Leena: ** laughing in agreement** “I know that’s right, sir!”
Rashad: “Ain’t that right, sista?”
Jeff: “And what about you?” (looking at Leena)
Leena: “Hillary all day. Not only because she isn’t Trump, She isn’t as divisive and racist as Trump. Trump is the KKK, I just don’t want to vote for that as president of the greatest country in the world. Hillary knows that Black Lives Matter, she is willing to listen to issues that Black women go through. We need a woman in office because we are past the days of men being in control. We need a woman to run this country! and the time is now.”
Rashad:”I agree with you sista. I am in support of Black Lives Matter, also.”
** Joanne pulls up to the bar and beckons Jeff for a drink**
Joanne:”Yes, I would like a gin and tonic on the rocks. Tanqueray, please. TNT.”
Rashad: “And what do you think about the Wikileaks stuff sista? You know the crap they are blaming Hillary for? the emails?”
Leena: “It’s complete nonsense. The media and Trump supporters are making it a big deal. Hilary apologized and they found nothing that could put her in prison. What’s the big fricking deal? She made an honest mistake, move the hell on.The Feds are Trump supporters anyhow!”
**Joanne overhears conversation and interrupts**
Joanne:”Not to interrupt, but yes it is kind of a big deal. She sabotaged Bernie Sanders and caused distrust between democrats. A lot of us felt betrayed that she divided the party and sabotaged the DNC. I was a Bernie Sanders supporter, and refuse to support Hillary.”
Rashad: “Wait a minute. So you are voting Trump? That doesn’t make any sense.”
Joanne: “I never said that. I am voting for the green party candidate, Jill Stein.”
Leena: (laughing in a dismissive manner) “A vote for Jill Stein, is a vote for Trump. Even my 10 year old knows that. By the way, are your friends voting for DEEZ NUTS. I mean this is ridiculous.”
Joanne: “Good Luck on believing in a proven liar. She is Donald Trump in a pantsuit! I refuse to vote for less of two evils, I’m voting Stein!”
**Darnell overhears conversation, politely jumps in**
Darnell: “Hey what’s wrong with Trump. He may be misunderstood, but he is going to bring this country back to greatness.”
Rashad: “I’m sorry, What’s there not to understand about Trump: Housing discrimination against blacks, the terrible situation with the central park 5, his unreleased footage of him saying racial slurs on NBC, his grabbing pussy remark, what else?”
Leena: “His toxic misogyny, his negative talk about women’s appearance, the irony of him being against immigrants despite being married to one, refusing to denounce violent racists holding him up as a symbol of white supremacy..What else do you need to know? Oh, and he hates blacks.”
Darnell: “He doesn’t hate blacks. He has Ben Carson as one of his advisers.”
Rashad: “Ben Carson is an Uncle Tom, and anyone voting for him that is black is a Tom, too. If the shoe fits, Oh well.”
Leena:**clapping hands laughing** “Yass!”
Darnell: “Ben Carson is a successful Brain surgeon, that has wrote books about lifting himself up from the bottom. He has come from the ghetto, and has risen his way up from nothing, into a presidential candidate. Be careful who you call a Tom.I am a Black Man who has a mind of his own. They used to call Booker T. Washington a Uncle Tom, also. You guys have no clue what a Uncle Tom is! Hillary and the Obama administration are the real problem. The democratic party wants to keep black people poor and desperate. They love having Blacks begging them. By doing this, they keep Black people in their clutches. ‘Here is more welfare and section 8 for the gang bangers and criminals’, but where does that money come from. It comes from the republican’s check. You liberals love all of these handouts, but never think about where it comes from!”
Rashad: “Go back to being a house negro, Mr. Uncle Tom! the white folk don’t love you any more than the supposed gang banger. They will use your name as the token black friend to claim they aren’t racist. As soon as you leave the country golf club, they are making all kinds of racial remarks about your ‘Clarence Thomas’ ass.”
Leena:** sips orange juice and vodka while smirking in agreement**
Darnell: “Hey, I notice a Black Lives Matter tattoo on your arm, Where was black lives matter in Chicago with all the black on black crime happening over there?”
Rashad: “I don’t know, the same place ALL LIVES MATTER were, when Tamir Rice died. Or when Black people were slaves.”
Leena: “Yass! Exactly”
Malachi:** Orders a shot of 151 proof rum, downs it in one blink**
Jeff: “Whoa, easy there.”
Malachi: “I can handle it. What’s good ya’ll , the hell ya’ll yelling about?”
Rashad: “everything”
Darnell: “These guys just don’t get it. They are voting Hillary (pointing at Rashad and Leena) and I’m voting Trump. They want the same lies that Obama preached about in 2008, pre-election.”
Malachi:”And what about you?” (looking at Joanne the green party voter)
Joanne:” I’m tired of the ‘less of two evil’ bullshit. I’m voting for Jill Stein. I used to be a Sanders supporter, but after wikileaks, I am not voting for either. What about you?”
Malachi: “I refuse to vote period. It is a waste of time. Especially for blacks, because it is a rigged system”
**cacophony of disagreement from all sides**
Leena: “This is the problem with black men, ya’ll don’t take shit seriously. Our ancestors died so we can vote, and your silly ass over here not using what little power you do have to exercise your rights.”
Rashad:” You can’t say you don’t vote, and then complain when shit goes bad. You have to pick a side, whether you like it or not”
Joanne:” I’m voting for Jill Stein as a protest vote, but I understand where you are coming from.”
Darnell: “what you said is ignorant on all levels of rationality. The system is rigged? were you saying that when Obama became president in 2008? The system isn’t rigged, you just are looking for an excuse not to vote.”
Malachi: “Okay, Leena, the problem isn’t with black men, the problem is a system of white supremacy. Black men and women are going to jail in droves and these are laws that the Clinton’s put in place to make that happen. You guys are so giddy about voting for Hillary, forgetting that she called black men super-predators, and supported the laws her husband implemented to gain conservative votes for re-election. Black people didn’t die so we can vote, they died to give us the opportunity and right to vote!”
Leena: “Just like a Black man, avoiding responsibility for your actions. Always finding excuses for everything.”
Malachi: “What’s your deal with the black man, did you forget about Bill Clinton’s sister souljah moment? You probably was one of the black folks who didn’t believe Barack Obama could be president until whites started getting behind him. You must’ve forgot about the snide remarks the Clinton’s made against Obama during the 2008 presidential campaign.”
Joanne: “Yeah, I remember that. It was heated, it was a shocker that he even chose her as Secretary of state.”
Malachi: “Rashad, no, I have every right to complain if I don’t vote, because I wasn’t dumb enough to elect a candidate I thought would be a messiah. If you vote and that person falls short, YOU have no right to complain, because you put them in office with a full vote of confidence.”
Rashad: “You sound crazy right now, Bruh. That made no sense.” (Laughs)
Malachi: “Bottom line is, I don’t have to pick a side. Life goes on.”
Darnell: “Keep on believing that lie, you must be uneducated.”
Malachi:”Darnell, what do you mean that politics can’t be rigged? Did you forget about the Bush/ Gore Florida voting scandal. I am not saying it is one head honcho who calls shots and decides who becomes president.”
Darnell:” That’s exactly what you are saying!!”
Malachi:” Let me finish!, I’m saying that people who are in the upper class that are among the 1% , who control most of the wealth in the world, have money to create change. Each politician is funded by these corporate entities. If one candidate is in danger of losing, the corporations then hop on the leading candidate’s coat tail to get laws implemented. I am saying it makes no difference who is president, if money runs politics, and politics create laws. Money therefore creates bills that get signed into law.”
Darnell: “So why do we vote then, smart-ass?”
Malachi: “To give Americans the illusion of us actually having a choice. The differences between two candidates aren’t as stark as the media propagandizes.”
Darnell: “So what about the the Supreme court and Judges? Is that rigged also. If we have a liberal President choosing a liberal Supreme Justice, that impacts Americans as well, doesn’t it?”
Malachi: “It doesn’t matter who they choose. You just had Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who white liberals prop up as a goddess, make disparaging remarks about Colin Kaepernick for taking a knee, but not saying anything about the issue he is kneeling for.”
Darnell: “Yeah, that guy Kaepernick is an imbecile. He is a waste of a human being, how dare him disrespect this country and the military that protects it.”
Malachi:”An imbecile for taking a stance against police brutality? For not standing for a country that doesn’t respect lower class African Americans? This is all happening under a black democratic president. I am here nor there, but that goes to show you that white supremacy always wins.”
Darnell: “White supremacy? Yeah the white supremacy is the reason gang bangers keep killing each other more than cops kill them, and yet they want to blame cops? Come on!”
Malachi:” You just equated Cops with criminals. Cops aren’t criminals and they are here to protect the community. Criminals get sent to jail for their crimes, rogue policemen get paid leave and gofundme pages.”
Darnell: “This is sad, that you don’t see how incredibly foolish you sound.”
Malachi: “My point about the president picking a Supreme Judge to impact America is that nothing changes. The issues that exist now, will continue to exist 30 years from now. As long as the candidates need blue-collar union’s election support, they won’t condemn their actions. They will use code words to appear contrite, but won’t do anything.”
Rashad:”Once again, you sound dumb right now. She already said she is behind police reform.”
Malachi: “I sound dumb. Do you know what police reform is?.. It basically means that they will give police more money to train more cops and buy more guns. The problem isn’t police training, they are extremely proficient at their jobs, it is the bad cops who give law enforcement a bad rep. The true problem is all-white juries that can’t help but think the black victim was responsible for his or her death. If you can get away with unlawful lynching without punishment, there will be no impetus to create change. Department of Justice is already doing police reform. They just awarded 20 billion dollars to law enforcement. Hillary refuses to use the word racial profiling, and adeptly says ‘implicit bias’. That word is not by mistake, to say police racial profile would draw ire from the national police union. Nothing is gonna change for black people if she becomes president. Just like nothing changed for blacks when Obama became president.”
(PART 2 coming soon)