Let’s Pretend You’re Black: Ty’Qwonne Blacksten (Part 10)

An eyewitness took iPhone camera footage of a red van fleeing the scene. Mezza Murda Mobstas are plotting revenge on all sets and crews to avenge the death of P-Nutt’s little brother.

Warning: The following dialogue contains foul and inappropriate language that may be offensive to some readers.

Word on the street is spreading like a wild fire. The Hyde Park Hustla Crips are under pressure from the Mezza Mob. An eyewitness took iPhone camera footage of a red van fleeing the scene. Mezza Murda Mobstas are plotting revenge on all sets and crews to avenge the death of P-Nutt’s little brother. P-Nutt deduced that it had to be the Ballstone Boys. The red van, combined with the recent YouTube success of the viral video has caused malice between 45 Ballstones and Mezza’s. P-Nutt addresses the gang about the warfare that will emanate in the next couple of days.

hood

P-Nutt:”If yous a scary ass nigga, go to church! Be down, or lay the fuck down. We about to turn-up. Them Ballstones killed my lil ones, for that, everyone can get it. Mama’s, aunties, uncles, er’body. Whatever happens, happens!”

Big Rollie: “Hell yeah, load them ratchets up, I was built for this shit, Niggas know my M.O.”

P-Nutt: “Numba one, we comin for Skooby. Number two, we coming for T.Q.. I want these niggaz to feel this shit. Tanisha!(beckoning his female companion) Figure out whats oh boy full name and where he stay at. It’s goin down.”

hospital

Meanwhile at the hospital, you awaken from a six hour long surgery. Recovery time will be about 2 months, however, the doctor could release you as early as 2 weeks if you heal properly.

Skooby: “whattup cuzzo!! you good!”

You: “Yeah, wassup Skoob. I’m tryna still figure out what happened”

Skooby: “Don’t worry bout it, it’s already taken care of. They tried to play you, posted the video of you getting mopped. I wasn’t having it.”

You: “Wow, a video online? Wait…I’m viral now, this shit is embarrassing. What did you do?”

Skooby: “We murked 3 messy mouth fuck-boys. It had to be done, they were taking the Ball Stones soft. We couldn’t let it slide.”

You: “What the hell? Aw, man. You already know they gonna retaliate back 3 times harder. They are gonna know you were behind it.”

Skooby: “negative. we spray painted the Hyde Park Hustla Crips as the ones behind it. Blue spray paint and all.”

You: “Why in the fuck would you do that, now you got two hoods coming after Ballstone. They might be headed to the hospital right now! I gotta get out of here, they not killing me in this hospital!”

Skooby: “Don’t trip T.Q., I got troops outside, we ready for whatever they wanna do. Ain’t nothing gonna happen to you. They got guns, we got guns too! Fuck it.”

You: “man, I shoulda stayed home, this never woulda happened”

Skooby: “Heal up soon T.Q. Don’t worry about no Messy Mouth fuck-boys. You’re protected. Peace out.”

 

Meanwhile, the Mezza Mob have hired some attractive young girls to walk down Ballstone Avenue. Their job is to act oblivious to any gang knowledge. If they are to be interrogated by any Ballstone boys, they are to say they are from Maize Terrace. Maize Terrace is a upper middle class suburb where a lot of  minorities reside. There are 3 girls who are in the pact. Keyonna, a light skinned African-American woman who resembles a young Beyonce Knowles. Tracee, a dark skinned woman who resembles a young Kenya Moore, and Yasira, a mixed woman of African-American and El Salvadorean descent. They stroll down Ballstone Avenue, wearing the most tight, low cut and revealing clothes that would allure the most pious man.

Trick100 (45 Ballstone member) : “Yo, ladies…What it do. Hey Sexy!! (catcalling the trio)

Keyonna: “Wassup” (smiling in a flirtatious manner)

Trick100: “Whats ya’ll name, where ya’ll from. My name Trick, What ya’ll doing later on?”

Keyonna adroitly beguiles them with a fictional story about celebrating a 23 year old birthday party at the local Chili’s restaurant. She invites the Ballstone Boyz to come party with them. Trick-100 acquiesces and agrees to meet up at this party.

At the hospital, your Uncle Rocco arrives at the hospital after work. You brief him on the situation.

You: “Uncle Rocco, I got to get the hell out of this hospital. The Mezza Mob are coming to finish me off!”

Rocco:”What you talking about boy?”

You: “Skooby did some bad things that will certainly involve retaliation, that is all I can say Unc.”

Rocco: “You ain’t even fully healed yet.”

You: “I really need to get out of Troose, Unc. It is about to get really ugly.”

Rocco sighs in exasperation.

 

Part 11 coming soon…….

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Let’s Pretend You’re Black: Ty’Qwonne Blacksten (Part 8)

hospital

You are currently unconscious at St. Augustine’s Medical Center of Troose. The doctors have placed you in a medically induced coma from all of the head trauma you’ve sustained. You have a broken jaw, broken nose, cracked eye socket and ruptured spleen. Your mother has just arrived at the hospital to receive the news.  She proceeds to have a conversation with  your grandmother and uncle.

Warning: Strong use of inappropriate and foul language in the following dialogue.

 

Mom:”It was all my fault, I should’ve known better than to let him go over that way.”(sobbing uncontrollably)

Grandma: (inconsolable)

Uncle Rocco: “Tammy (your mom), Don’t blame yourself sis, It’s okay. I felt like it was more of my fault, than anybody else. I was just with him last weekend. He is gonna be fine Tammy. Trust in Jesus, Sis.”

Granny: “Yes, Rocco, I serve a powerful God, in Jesus name! please watch over my grand baby”(sobbing)

Mom: “I just can’t believe I let this happen.”

Uncle Rocco: “Listen, Im gonna call Bishop Henry Dixen, to come down and say a prayer for y’all. I promise you T.Q, is in God’s hands and he will be fine.

—-

Skooby walks in visibly perturbed by the recent news. He storms in the hospital greeting everyone and asking for the room number of Ty’Qwonne. Rocco looks at Skooby scornfully as he walks away.

 

Uncle Rocco: “Yo, Skooby, lemme holla at you real quick”

Skooby waves Uncle Rocco off in a flippant manner. Disregards Rocco entirely and walks toward the room.

 

Scooby walks in the room and sees you bandaged up and hooked up to the machines. Tears begin to weld up in his eyes, as he realizes that you are in bad shape.

 

Skooby: “Fuck…..who in the hell did this to you!..Why the hell you ain’t text me to let me know where you was at?”

Skooby: (tears dropping from his face)

Skooby: “You my lil cuzzin, I am always gonna look out for you. No matter what. You can’t pass away on me, TQ.”

Skooby: (phone vibrates and rings)

Skooby: “Wattup nigga, I’m at the hospital, I gotta hit you back. Somebody got T.Q.! On the dead homies, I need to know who did this.”

Voice on the other end of the phone tells Skooby that the Mezza’s had youtubed the whole incident and placed it online. The Mezza’s have a YouTube channel that shows all of their parties and intimidation tactics.

Skooby: “Say what!!, On Stone Gang Blood?!, tweet me the link my nigga! It’s on. Somebody gotta feel it tonight. On Bloods!!”

 

Storms out of hospital and bumps into Uncle Rocco. Rocco grabs Skooby.

Skooby: “Get cho fuckin hands off me, whats wrong wit you!”

Rocco: “Listen,  Daniel (Skooby’s real name),  I already know what you are thinking, you wanna retaliate. But think before you act.”

Skooby: “Nah, fuck all that! I’ma gangsta, Ain’t no peace talks going on here. You saw what they did to my lil cousin.”

Rocco: “Listen, Daniel, Nothing good is gonna come out of this. You already know. Think about what your gonna do. It’s a constant cycle of violence that will never be resolved. When will it stop. You are killing your own people.”

Skooby:”My people?, them niggas ain’t never gon’ be my people’s. This shit is deeper than skin color. People done lost fathers and kids behind this gang banging shit. I done lost homeboys to the penitentiary and cemetery behind this shit. My dead homies ain’t never coming back. This is all I know. This is my set. That is my race, fuck all that other shit. Save that peace talk for Farrakhan, Im active.”

Skooby storms out of hospital.

Rocco: “If you wanna ruin your life go ahead!!”(screaming aloud at Skooby)

hood-tours-screengrab-house-L

At the 45 Ballstone hood house, the gang members are awaiting the retaliation plan.

Big Trick- (gang leader): Okay, Stonez, Even though TQ ain’t from da hood, something gotta be done. They tryin to make the hood look soft. So, load the ratchets (guns) up and listen to the lil homie Skooby.

Scooby: “Okay, this is what we gon’ do. I want FatTroy to park over here…..”(showing google map location)

 

Part 9 coming soon.

 

 

Let’s Pretend You’re Black: Ty’Qwonne Blacksten (Part 6)

UNCLE ROCCO

Since you are approaching 17 1/2, you are in desperate need of getting  your  driver’s license. Uncle Rocco, a 48 year old heavyset dark-skinned man with a muscular build akin to Ving Rhames, is your fathers younger brother. Every weekend, he finds time to coach you on driving. Rocco, stays in an upper middle-class city 10 miles South of Troose called Maize Terrace. He is a licensed electrician who works as a lineman for the Edison Co. He is the closest thing you have to a male father figure.

Uncle Rocco:”Damn Ty’Qwonne, You are tryna kill me. The brakes are your friend. You need to ease on the gas pedal. Speed will kill you. Stop right here!”

You:”My Bad Unc’ I’m just excited to get my license. I’m tired of catching the bus. I need that Ford Explorer, like yesterday.”

{The Ford Explorer referenced is an abandoned vehicle in Uncle Rocco’s garage}

Uncle Rocco:”I already told you. You ain’t gonna get nothing if you don’t get them grades up and graduate. When you graduate, I will personally get the alternator replaced and give it a paint job. The pink slip will be handed over to you.”

You:”C’mon Unc’. I’m gonna graduate, but I honestly don’t know what it is that I am gonna do. It feels like I’m lost. I would go to college, but honestly, it ain’t for me. Things is changing Unc’. I read online that Mark Zuckerberg, and Bill Gates ain’t finish college. If they quit college, why should I go.”

Rocco:”If you don’t go to college, Whatchu gonna do?!..Smoke weed and hang with the Ballstone Boys. I know you are hanging with ya cousin Skooby, and he is a bad influence. He is a rowdy wanna-be punk. He doesn’t see himself beyond the hood! You wanna be stuck in the hood?!”

You:”But Unc’ Skooby ain’t as bad as you think. He….”

Rocco:”Don’t But Unc’ me!!! Your father would break out of prison if he knew you was hanging with him. You know your pops wouldn’t go for that bullshit! Let me tell you something about me….I grew up in Troose. I was an Original Troose Crip member. I ran around smoking weed, selling PCP, and driving low-riders!”

You: (Shocked)

Rocco: “I was a shit starting, blue rag banging nightmare. I know all about that lifestyle, but you know what got me out?..”

You: (silent)

Rocco: “They killed my cousin Tracy in broad daylight. In front of his mama’s house” {tearing up, crying}

Rocco: “I knew from that day forward, I had a choice to make. Fuck around and let the hood dictate my future, ending up dead like my big cousin. Or go out here and find a way out. I was lucky. I knew I had a second chance. I went to trade school and became an electrician. It was hard as hell leaving the hood and staying wit Sharice(his wife) and her mom.  Mrs Reece (his mother-in-law) was a sweetheart for taking me in. If it wasn’t for them I would be dead.”

You: (aghast)

Rocco: “So, when I am telling you that you need to graduate from school, I mean it with all my heart. I am telling you from a person who has been where you have been. I used to hang with guys like Skooby. Guess where they at now? The cemetery. None of them made it.”

You: “I understand that Uncle Rocco. It’s just hard to focus on school, when you living in a war zone. I’m living in constant fear that I might get killed, or moms might get robbed or shot by a stray bullet walking home from work. You know how it is Unc'”

Rocco:”You are right, I would take you in if it wouldn’t offend your mom. She is too proud of a woman to let you stay with me.”

You:”Nah, I couldn’t invade ya space like that Unc’..I got too much respect for you. Plus, you know moms ain’t having it. I’m her only child. I am her baby.”

Rocco: “I promised your Daddy that I would take care of you for him. I have to protect you. I don’t want you to be another one of these young boys getting killed or sent to prison off of making a few hundred dollars. Don’t be a fuck up T.Q, you ain’t like these other kids. You are smart. Go to school and be something in life. Skooby ain’t never gonna get past Ballstone Avenue. He is stuck on the 4 corners his gang run. Beyond those lines, he knows he is a dead man. He is stuck on the corner. Skooby is the type of guy that don’t wanna see you go beyond Ballstone either. Remember that.”

Part 7 coming soon.

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Let’s pretend you’re black: Ty’Qwonne Blacksten (Part 5)

Black women on #blacklivesmatter

It’s Saturday morning and the men are busy watching college football. Most of the women are preparing to go to church in the morning by heading to the hair salon. There are 3 hair salons in the city of Troose, but Nadine’s hair salon is the most popular. Nadine and her staff handle most of the African-American community. Councilwomen, Bus Drivers, Restaurant Workers, and Postal Workers all go to Nadine’s to spend half of the day. Here is the dialogue that goes on in Nadine’s:

TV: (News Broadcaster) “Officer slammed child and has been placed on unpaid leave until further notice.”

Red mohawk:”You see that Nadine….That officer need his ass whooped, slammin’ a lil ass girl like that. These officers is losin they rabid ass mind!”

(Salon groaning in unison)

Nadine:”Yep, but the backstory say that she was a lil badass. Being hella defiant, screaming at the officer and teacher. She was doin 4 much. Im jus sayin!”

Short brown hair:”So what!, that still don’t make it right. He wouldn’t slam no White girl like that. If Becky was actin out, she wouldn’t even get pepper sprayed. I don’t know why we keep letting these White cops get away with this nonsense gurl!”

Salon Worker Jada:”I agree, I also think that our Black men don’t treat us any better”

(Salon agreeing in accord)

Nadine:” We all being portrayed as bitches and hoes, nothing more than a sex tool to our men. A Black woman is known as a baby momma, but what do they call Sarah Palin daughter?”

(clapping and laughing)

Long Haired woman:” Tell me about it, then you got these White women taking our men. Them damn,(snapping her fingers) whats they name?..Kardashians are taking every rich Black man they see.”

Jada:” Walking around on television with fake asses, fake lips, and sun tans, these hoes wanna be Black so fuckin bad. We can’t even have our big asses anymore. White women wanna take that!” (cackling in laughter)

Nadine:”Y’all know Stretch got out!”

Jada:”That’s random, what made you think of that?”

Nadine:”Kardashian and Lamar Odom, Stretch look just like Lamar Odom”

Red Mohawk:”Yeah he do, He look good too. I’ll take care of his ass. Jail time did him good. Shiit!”(laughing)

Senior Citizen Pearline:”We losin too many of our sons and fathers to jail and gun violence. I have lost a Grandson and a Son behind this madness.”

Nadine:”Our men are passing away and going to jail, and we are left with the responsibility. When we need help or government assistance, we are shamed. We get stamped as welfare queens, cause we swipe an EBT card for food. When a White woman get stuck with responsibility, she divorces, or sues!”

Jada:”Maybe we need to get married, instead of having these no good, jailbird nigga babies, Hey, I’m just Sayin!!! It takes two.”

Nadine:”Even if we get married, what we gonna sue them for? Some Retro Jordan shoes. Hell. they barely wanna pay child support! What the hell I’m gonna sue for? A blunt!”

(salon roaring in laughter)

Senior Citizen Pearline:”We need to talk about whats really killing US!!! Violence and police brutality are killing our Black men, but you know what is killing us?”

Red Mohawk:”What?..broke ass baby daddies?”

(Salon laughs)

Pearline:”Heart disease, Diabetes, Breast Cancer, High Blood Pressure! These are the things killing us. When I was young like ya’ll, I took my health for granted. I cooked soul food and fried foods with a heavy hand of salt and butter. I refused to exercise. I didn’t wanna change my eating habits. I went through KFC drive-thru’s to compensate working two jobs to feed my children, and guess what happened. I had a stroke and renal failure in my 50’s. I go to kidney dialysis 3 times a week. I have to take 20 pills and vitamins a day, just to get through.”

(Salon quiet and somber)

Long Haired Woman:”I feel you Mrs. Pearline, I just can’t mess up my weave. I paid good money for my Brazilian hair. No disrespect, but I don’t do pack hair. The sweat would damage my hair.”

(salon humming and laughing)

Pearline:”So you just chose hair over heart disease?  If you don’t take care of your health, hair will be the last thing you need to worry about..Trust me on that, Sweetie”

Part 6 coming soon.

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