It is no secret that there is some odd energy between black male homosexuals and black cishet hetero-men. For the most part, hip-hop is a genre of music that is heavily misogynistic. We can all agree that hip-hop is a creation spawned by black culture. It wouldn’t be far fetched to say that there is a large influence of hip-hop in the urban and poor sections of black America. Modern black masculinity therefore is commonly associated with Hip-Hop. To understand the toxic relationship of black alpha-male men and black homosexuals in present-day, you must recognize the ideology of hip-hop and its role creating the modern black masculinity concept.
Many black homosexuals have a negative relationship with alpha or cishet men from the African diaspora. This is usually a result of being ostracized, assaulted, or teased during high school for being feminine in voice, gait, disposition, and so forth. In response, many young men in these situations resorted to befriending young black women. The young black woman represented sort of a maternal protector from many of these cishet alpha black men during conflict, some even willing to fight for the closeted (gay) friend. Socially these black women were mirrored images of their mothers, or sisters. Many gay black men tend to be closer to black women in friendship, in comparison to hetero-black men.
During this symbolic metaphorical sisterhood, the gay male would recognize the shortcomings and failures of many of his black female friends failed relationships. In short, it was usually the fault of hetero-black men. His play-sisters would almost always complain about the same issues many strong single black mothers would gripe about: “This nigga ain’t shit, He don’t wanna pay child support, He doesn’t respect me, He don’t take care of his kids, He trifling, He stay going in and out of jail, He can’t never get his shit together”
With this in mind, the gay black man acknowledges these flaws as a fluid characteristic that is inseparable from black masculinity. This pattern of behavior demonstrated from cishet black men starting from childhood up into adulthood is problematic. Black masculinity as a whole, if not beta, is seen as toxic.
From a straight black male or cishet perspective, protecting your image and masculinity is necessary at all costs. Never let anyone violate your manhood, because in the end, all you have is your word and your balls. If you let another man emasculate you publicly, that is reason for violence to ensue. The worst insult that another cishet black man could hear is anything questioning his sexuality. Insults such as: “Nigga, you’s a bitch, you are a fag, you pussy…”
In hip-hop, his favorite artists taught him that ideology, directly or indirectly, and these lyrics have shaped his views on life. His entourage of brothers relate to these hip-hop artists and the way he feels. His circle “don’t hang with no gay dudes”, and his squad will not be taken lightly because of that.
Another avenue of masculinity is taught the traditional route. Being effeminate in any way is cause for scolding by men who are in the family tree. These could be uncles, cousins, brothers or fathers who see weakness or vulnerability in a male relative. For example, one child decides that he won’t fight back a local bully at school. Being soft, or not seeking retaliation for this physical assault, is cause for reprimanding. The older male relative when catching wind of the situation will usually respond aggressively like “Son, if you don’t go back and find that boy that did this to you, and kick his ass, I’m gonna kick your ass! We are Jackson (last name) men, we don’t play that shit!” 😠
In weekly Sunday mass, he also is confronted by a religious leader who condemns homosexuality as a ticket to hell. To be a gay man, would be akin to suffer a punishment worst than death itself: an abomination to God. To believe in Christ, in the formal sense, is to denounce these “acts” as immoral.
In short, the alpha black man has been taught conventional masculinity. The homosexual black man has been shunned from all areas of black manhood. The gay man matures into adulthood with a caustic relationship towards alpha black men. The collective assaults and taunting during adolescence, boils to a head in adulthood. This is why I suspect many homosexual men are tightly bound to LGBTQ issues over race issues. The black homosexual men who are about racial discrimination, also conflate homosexual prejudice into the equation. “We can’t talk about white supremacy, unless we confront the bigotry of homophobia in the black community. They are ALL connected!”. Herein lies the reason for black feminists, who also may be (gay) lesbian and face similar quagmires in the black community, or black women who have been mistreated by black men, to confront alpha black masculinity as well as the fight against racism. This ideology is called “intersectionality”.
From these frustrations, the #BlackLivesMatter group arises and gets funded to become a digital revolution. By reading the #blacklivesmatter mission statement, it is apparent that this group is not solely a movement for hetero cishet black men.
The #blacklivesmatter movement can be seen as anti-alpha black male. They are against traditional black marriage, and look to re-affirm queerness as true pro-blackness, not “toxic” black masculinity.
The real reason behind this movement is white feminism, and racist gay whites who don’t wish to associate homosexuality or feminism with minority struggles. Michael Sam, the first openly gay player to be drafted by the NFL, came out earlier this year in an interview, and spoke out against racism in the lgbt community. White feminism has always been mum on racially charged issues, often writing pieces on HUFFINGTON POST that have always been centered on sexism and politics. Many cishet black men have been the scapegoat of society. We are America’s largest problem, for some reason. We are the enemies of white men, white women, black men, and black women. The only safe haven of black manhood is in the barbershop. To be alpha male in this current environment, is to risk being labeled sexist or ignorant about the black woman’s struggle, or insensitive to the plight of homosexual black men.
I don’t deny the ignorance and toxic environment of cishet black masculinity. There is a lot of misconceptions of homosexuality, most notable is that it considered a choice. “You can’t be born gay! What kinda shit is that?!” or “I don’t agree with that lifestyle my nigga, I’m straight.”
I don’t think we are born straight or gay. We honestly are just born and grow attracted to whomever we are attracted to. I happened to always have an affinity for females. My cousin who is an open gay man, has always been feminine. Most boys will grow up and like girls, but some boys just won’t. I played with teenage mutant ninja turtles and wrestling figures as a kid, some boys will play with dolls. It’s against my belief because I don’t feel like kids should be sexualized too young. A child’s mind is very impressionable at an early age. They aren’t fully capable of understanding sexuality at such a young age. A young boy may only wish to play with dolls because he is curious about a woman’s anatomy. A liberalized adult may interpret their son wanting to play with dolls the same way they would if a friend decided to reveal himself coming out of the closet. They may go into buying a child a dress and heels before he or she knows their abc’s. Give a child time to grow and decide what their identity is before convincing them its okay to be gay at 4 or 6 years old.
Here are a few examples:
I do believe that there is an agenda to make black men more docile. The new generation after me, are definitely part of a more feminine culture. The jeans young black men wear are so tight that their women’s clothes look baggy. Young Thug, a popular rapper, recently made history by breaking gender norms, wearing a dress on his album cover, despite incessantly flaunting guns and claiming heterosexuality. He constantly calls his homeboys ‘bae’ and uses homosexual behavior to confuse the masses and spread confusion among fans, which only promotes his name and music via gossip. This serves as free promotion to him, because nowadays money trumps integrity.
In my humble opinion, there is no reason to have any animosity towards homosexual men. Number one, I got love for them if they are black, and secondly we need to assimilate against the bigger issue, which is white supremacy. There is no enemy or issue bigger than that. If you don’t realize that first and foremost, than we can’t agree on anything else.
6 thoughts on “Male Homophobia in the Black community (rant)”
Eddie this was probably the most brilliant writing I’ve seen by you. It touches on so many concerns and facets of our community. I also like how you brought the kids/child issues. If a child is gay let that child figure that out when they can understand it instead of encroaching it upon them. I can never go through what our gay black brothas go through. Imagine wanting to get your haircut at a black barbershop but afraid of ridicule. I think because you were raised in LA and me in the bay, California has a great acceptance of the gay community. But the white gay community. I like the Michael Sam comparison as well and the young Thug. I also agree that there’s an agenda to make black men more approachable and docile. How many tv shows the token black man is a punk or just a push over. Brilliant piece my man 👏👏
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Thanks Tareau. This is a taboo topic that many brothers and sisters are reluctant to talk about, but I’m happy you got what I was trying to say. I’m very complimented by the praise you are giving it, thanks for showing support.
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A lot of us are not comfortable with our sexuality. Like Mister Cee from hot 97 in denial for years for his love for transgenders. There’s a hidden notion amongst us that feels that our gay counterparts want to have sex with us and that scares us. If a gay man tries to ask me out, I politely decline. Am I offended? No. It happens. It is also a regional thing as well. Look how many alpha males turn out to really be on the downlow. Birdman, Bishop Eddie Long, Mister Cee, Lil Wayne, etc.
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There is the fear of being shamed if ever discovered that they were gay. This is why you have brothas double-dipping, coming back home spreading STDs to innocent black women. Ashamed to come out and say their true sexual preference, because the hood will ostracize them. Afrika Bambataa is another guy being down low. He had his crew denounce him because of some deplorable acts he committed. Its a very deep issue.
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I know that a lot of things are about race, but I think LGBTQ issues are something different. What you describe happening in the black community is also happening in other communities. It’s taken women a long time to stand up for ourselves, and in a lot of cultures, that still doesn’t happen. A lot of men still aren’t comfortable with strong women. Black women have been in the forefront of the empowerment movement because your culture admires strong women, but for Latinas, not so much. And there are plenty of white people who are anti-gay.
It’s also generational. There are lots of old folks, of all colors, who don’t understand gender issues. It’s Millennials who don’t care about gender, but it’s also liberals and the non-religious. A lot of religion is anti-woman and anti-gay.
I certainly don’t care which gender anyone associates with or who people decide to love. That’s not my business. But, the Earth, why, that’s everybody’s business. 🙂
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You are right Ms. You have to factor in, that the Latino culture just as a whole predominantly based off of Masculinity vs femininity. El vs LA. From the language to the religions, to finances to family to who makes the decisions etc.(generall6speaking of course) What brotha Eddie was pointing out (in my opinion) that us black men because we are feared we are being promoted to the masses as a different kind of black. More like a hybrid. I don’t really see that in the Latino community due to the cultural differences ya know. You are right 100% on everything u said but It’s the conditioning of black men to make us easily digested to society. Yes I can speak on experience because my fiance was Salvadorian it is taboo to be Gay in the Latino community as it is in the black community.
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