This is going to be bad

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Well, Mother-in-law is moving into our already cramped apartment. Guess who isn’t happy about it? 🙋. If you guessed me, than you are right. I am the most private person you could meet. So long, to the days when I could walk around in boxers and nothing else. Hello, to the days of dressing up in the restroom after my shower.

Look, I am an asshole. I cannot help it. Of course I am selfish. Let me give you the back story of why I am so pissed.

The MIL has had a rough spell of bad luck. Within the past 7 years, she has stayed at a vacant property rent free. She pays an exorbitant amount of money for some gargantuan sized storage, filled with Suzy Summer thigh masters, 1994 disposable cameras, and more bullshit. I am trying to be rational, and reasonable, however, my greatest fear is that there will be a 2 vs 1 situation. The talk I had with her mother consisted of me announcing that she must be looking for another place to stay while living with us. She reluctantly agreed and seemed excited at the prospect of moving in. I keep putting pressure on my wife to be the enforcer, because I don’t want it to become a situation where she feels that I am bullying her mom. It would come off better if she were the sheriff. My wife is too timid and fearful of being honest with her mom. I am the complete opposite way with my parents.

The situation feels intense and I already surmise that this circus will end badly. My stress levels have been high, despite eating healthier and exercise. My blood pressure and anxiety attacks are causing me to become more hostile. The situation is only temporary in my mind, but I’m still uncomfortable with this mother in law moving in.

The mother in law has a victim mentality and puts a guilt trip on her daughter. That doesn’t work with me, and I can’t bite my tongue if I tried. The manipulation tactics will cause me to be honest and truthful with her mom.

What do you guys think?

17 thoughts on “This is going to be bad”

  1. Man o man. You are in a tough spot. You will be the bad guy no matter what. At this point you will have to let your wife handle her mother. You have to voice your concerns in private which you have but as the man of the household, you gave your guidelines and it should be respected. BUT a strong but at that! You are on shaky grounds because, it’s family. Her mother of all people. You will become el Diablo if you tell her time is up and she gotta go. You will be El Diablo if you ask when she is leaving too much. But speak to your wife and also be supportive. If she can fend for herself and it’s temporary, suck it up. But if it’s being abused… Then say something. But reduce some assholish tendencies lol! Peace over poison! Catch more flies with honey than vinegar!

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      1. I can understand that wholeheartedly! But the good thing is you know you are stubborn and you can try to compromise a bit more during those times of extreme stubbornness. At the end of the day your marriage comes first and she will see that of course. Communicate effectively( to understand and not to just rebuke!) and be patient. She may be gone in a month or less!!!

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      3. Yes. The worse feeling is feeling left out in something that concerns you and effects you. You must feel that there is a lack of respect. That’s where you speak up but not irrationally. And communicate prior to it getting to that point. And make sure you are understood. I can only image the frustration in that! I know I would want to flip tables. Lol let your voice be heard from now with your wife before you get pissed off. Speak calmly but seriously and come up with a plan and a timeline you both are comfortable with and stick to it and let her communicate it with her mom. Like if by April 30th she says nothing about her moving, OUR next step is abc. Remember you and your wife are on the same team. Can’t attack your teammate! You won’t ever win the tournament. You may lose this game but that’s ok.

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      4. Man, I gotta holler at you on twitter DM. Its great to hear a woman’s perspective. All I keep getting from male coworkers and childhood friends who’ve encountered similar situations is “Brace Yourself! šŸ˜‘”.

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  4. I feel your pain! My mother in law moved in with us while she waited for her disability to come through. One year. In February of the next year I told her she had 90 days to find a place and we would help her do it, we would also help her with a therapist and be a support system for her. A week after that she was diagnosed with lung, brain, and bone cancer. She died 6 weeks later. No, I didn’t feel like an ass. And in the end she told me that I was the only one who believed in her ability to support and care for herself. I would be very clear about what all of you expect out of this otherwise the 2 on 1 thing could get quickly out of hand. Good Luck!

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  6. I haven’t read the other advice, but I’m always a fan of being yourself man. That’s the easiest way to go. Also, MIL needs some boundaries and deadlines, like we’re grown over here and have been for a while and perhaps you can give her six-months to save money and move…sorry, I’m passionate about MILs living with folks lol

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